The X-(Take That) Files
Smash Hits Magazine, July 1996
It's Thursday June 27, the day after Robbie Williams' infamous Freedom press conference, and by rights he should be feeling on top of the world. Chris Evans raved as he played Rob's debut single, a rocking George Michael cover of the teen idol anthem Freedom '90, and even weirdy-beardy George gave his public seal of approval. More controversial was the piece in The Sun titled 'I hate you, Barlow' which quoted Rob from a recent magazine interview, saying, "Gary's selfish, greedy, arrogant and thick. He's a clueless w*****." Ouch! Following a 12-month absence from the charts, Robbie Williams is the name on everyone's lips again - it's everything he's dreamed of. But as I arrive home from work that night, there's a message on my answer machine...and he doesn't sound happy. "It's Rob. I was just calling to see what you thought of last night. Call me back." I do, and the mood is low..."How are you? I ask. "Not very well. I've got my hindsight T-shirt on and I hate myself for what I've said. Have you seen the newspapers?". "Yeah". He sighs, wearily. "I'm so disgusted with myself for saying those things. I'm so upset. I want to phone Gary and tell him how sorry I am. What must he think of me? The stupid thing is, I didn't mean it. Those aren't my feelings. But when I gave that interview, months ago, my head was still swimming from the whole Take That thing and...I've got no-one to blame but myself...I just wish I hadn't...I'm gonna go for a walk, I think."
The last three weeks have been both trying and exciting for Rob. His return to the pop world has been as rapid as his dismissal 12 months ago, and the experience has left him riding a rollercoaster of emotions. It was three weeks ago that Smash Hits were first alerted of Rob's plans and Gav, our photographer Adrian and myself were flown out to Miami under a cloud of secrecy with his new record company.
Last month, Rob signed a mega four-album deal with Chrysalis and Freedom '96 is set for release just one month after his press conference. That means a video has to be made - and of course, Rob's first Smash Hits cover as a solo artist must be shot. Hence, we're off to Miami where Rob has been writing and recording his album, The Show Must Go On, and preparing to shoot his Freedom '96 video.
Saturday June 8 - Marlin Hotel, Ocean Drive, Miami
After unpacking, Gav and I are exchanging jet lag tales when there is a call to the room.
"This is reception, Miss. I have a bouquet of flowers here for you from a Mr Barlow." "Alright Rob, how's it going?". "Stay there, I'm coming up. I've got something to show you."
Two minutes later, there's a knock on the door and behind it stands Rob, lifting his shirt up and grinning proudly.
"Look at it man," he says, slapping his belly, "It's gone. I've lost a stone!". And he dances madly round the room flashing a tight, flat stomach reminiscent of the one last seen on stage at a Take That concert.
"I've stopped drinking and I've been eating really healthily since I got here - and look!" he cries, pointing to his svelte waist again. He does look good - fantastic, in fact. Gone are the Supergrass sideburns and generous wastline and his skin is clear and lightly tanned. As Gav and I "Ooh" and "Ahh" the return of the washboard, Rob talks at speed about his new material, and when words fail to express his enthusiasm, he breaks into a song and gives us three tracks destined for the album - complete with air guitar. It sounds brilliant. This is swiftly followed by hilarious and cleverly observed readings of the poems he's written recently.
"You know what?" he grins, throwing his arms in the air. "I'm working again and it feels great. Bob's back!" And with that, he's gone. "I'm going to the studio. See you later!" he yells from the corridor.
Sunday June 9 - an alleyway off Ocean Drive, Miami (the first location for the video shoot)
It's 10 am and Rob, still half asleep, is dressed from head to toe in Pervert Clothes. (He bought so much from the Pervert shop, they had to re-stock. He also snapped up a Return of the Jedi dinner service and a secondhand Beatles tray as a gift for Noel Gallagher in a retro '70s store.).
In this scene from the video, Rob has to 'tit-dance' down the alley in a hip-hop style and lip synch to the track. Slight problem, though - the track has yet to be recorded, making the lip synch lark a tad tricky. However, always the consummate professional, Rob sings along to George's version, loving the camera.
"Consummate professional has got nothing to do with it", he says, beating the heat in the make-up can. "Stick a camera in front of me and I can't help myself. I'm having a passionate love affair with the limelight. When I open the fridge door and the light comes on, I do a 20-minute stand up routine. I turn it on and I love it. I'm going to be the biggest star in the world!"
"Come to my room in 20 minutes and we'll do the interview," says a sweaty but happy Rob. As you would expect, his room is a scene of destruction - the floor is buried beneath a sea of CDs, clothes, wet towels and festering socks. The TV is on 24 hours a day and a Busta Rhymes CD blares from the stereo. This is how Rob lives - he needs continual company. He avoids time alone like Damon Albarn avoids an Oasis concert. "You're right, I hate being on my own. I never am on my own, come to think of it. I suppose that means I hate myself." Cracking open a bottle of Evian, he flops onto his unmade bed and we talk.
You're releasing a cover version. Why?
Recording new material would have meant waiting until September before I could release it, and I didn't want to wait. Freedom '96 is more a statement than a single - the lyrics tell my story. After this, I'm going to go away and reinvent myself, then come back with my own stuff.
What was the real reason behind your decision to leave RCA?
There was this 'leaving members' clause that stopped me leaving RCA when I left Take That. But because the proven talent in the band, Gary, was still signed to RCA, he was always going to be the priority, in my opinion.
So how was it settled?
The exact terms of the deal are confidential and, as much as I'd like to I'm not allowed to discuss them with anybody. I can tell you that it coest me £400,000 in legal fees alone! But it was never about money, it was about freedom. Money's horrible - the root of all evil. It gets in the way. It cocks up relationships and takes away people's souls, I don't have lots of it now and losing it didn't bother me. I've been a millionaire twice, but I'm certainly not one anymore.
Now you're releasing records, does that mean no more Robbie the ligger/partygoer?
Definately. People see me going out and getting drunk, but I have been really depressed. I'm not now. I'm dead chuffed now because I'm back and I know getting drunk wasn't the answer. It feels good to be Robbie again, because for so long now I've hated myself. Look at the 7-up ad I did. I got giddy with my freedom and when those pictures came out, I left the country because I hated what I'd done. Now I'm working, I won't be carrying on like that. I'm bored with being pissed. I'm bored with being fat and and I'm really bored with depression.
You've lost a lot of weight, but it's still a big issue with you, isn't it?
Yeah. There have been times when I've felt anorexic, times when I felt I should throw up after a meal, though I never did. I'll never be happy with the way I look. The only thing I really like about myself is my huge willy!
When did you first become conscious of your weight?
When I was four on the beach in Babbacombe and these lads were laughing at my belly. I've had a problem ever since and being in Take That just magnified it. I had letters from Nigel telling me that if I didn't lose weight, I was out. So when Take That finished, I thought, 'I'm gonna get fat and see how that feels.' But I didn't like it one bit. I want to be thin - I like looking good and I know I looked a mess. I am pissed off with myself for the way I behaved. But no matter what the papers say, I never had a problem with drink and I certainly never had a drug problem.
So what do you really think of Take That?
Well......
Riiiiing, Riiiiiiiing.......... Damn it all! Rob's manager Tim is on the phone and it's time for Rob to head to the studio again. "We'll do some more later," he says, "I want to talk about the boys..and you'll be really surprised at what I've got to say..."
What Robbie really thinks of Forever Love
"To be honest, I know Gary can do better. I know he's got brilliant songs and I know that his album track, Open Road, is a fantastic song. It's another Back For Good, and that was the best song Take That ever did. To be truthful , I think Forever Love is awful. There's no chorus in it. I keep waiting for something to happen and it doesn't. But on the strength of his music alone, Gary should have a brilliant solo career. He's a very good songwriter.
What George Michael really thinks or Robbie's single
A spokesman for George was delighted to report that the Daddy of pop was thrilled with Robbie's cover of his 1990 classic. "George listened to it and he thinks it's brilliant," she said. "He was really pleased that Robbie chose to cover a song of his and he thinks Robbie has done him proud. He couldn't be happier."
Robbie's press conference: The top comedy moments
Rob (amid much laughter): It was me mate! I ate all the pies! Look at me!
Q.Are you worried that smoking might damage your voice?
Rob (collapsing to his knees under the desk): No, but it might stunt me growth.
Q. Why did you choose this song to cover?
Rob Well, I was going to do a version of Sacked For Good - sorry, Back For Good.
Q. What do you think of Gary's new figure?
Rob: What, you mean Dawn Andrews?
Q. How do you think the rest of Take That will handle solo careers?
Rob: I'm sure they'll do very well, Jason, for instance, is a first class painter and decorator. (Ouch!)
Q. What's your favourtie colour eyeshadow? Is it purple? (referring to the invite, which features a close up of Rob's made-up peepers)
Rob: I behaved like you are now, when I had my first pint too.
Q. Is it true that Noel Gallagher is writing you a song?
Rob: I'd love him to, but you know, you've got to roll with it. You've got to take your time...(Arf!)
Q. Is it true that George Michael has been giving you career advice?
Rob: Well, he didn't tell me to go go.
Q. What are your feelings towards the rest of Take That?
Rob: I've no animosity but I'd like to be in an out-of-control forklift truck chasing their manager round a shed.
Q. Are you going to the festivals this year?
Rob: Well, I heard that at 'T in the Park' last year there were T- shirts saying 'I'm with Robbie Williams'. So I'll have to go in disguise....
In a deserted London side street, a man is shouting from a third floor window to a young semi-naked schoolboy on the opposite side of the road. The boy, hanging from his bedroom window, is waving his arms about to thumping Techno music - cigarette in one hand, 12" slab of vinyl in the other. "You should be at bloody school!" barks the grumpy man. "Does your mum know you're at home? You're not smoking fags are you? Put some clothes on, you sod..." "I 'ate school.....and all my mates smoke. So why don't you just shut up?" comes the cocky reply. What the skiver doesn't realise is that he's being lectured by the King of rebels, the mega-famous Robbie Williams, perpetrator of debaunched Glastonbury shenanigans and general rock 'n'roll tomfoolery."Bloody kids of today, they don't know they're born!" jokes Rob, as he slams the window shut. "I'm only winding him up, but he does get on my nerves. Blaring bloody rave music all day. Never at school, that one. We call him Ravey Davey." We're in the offices of his manager, Tim Abbott, less than a week after our return from Miami (where Rob filmed the video for his single, Freedom '96) and he's recovering from a late night spent searching for Liam Gallagher in various west London pubs. "I heard he was having a drink in my area, but I was determined not to go out because I was working today.......Anyway, I did go out - to eight pubs, looking for him. Now I feel really rough. Did I find him? Nah."
The purpose of our meeting today is to carry on from where Rob left us in true cliff-hanging style in Miami, when he offered to reveal his true feelings for Take That, before being cruelly torn away to go to the studio. "So?" he says, putting his feet up on Tim's swank desk, "Where were we?"
You wanted to tell me what you really though of Take That.....
That's simple - I still love the lads. I always will. And I hope that, deep down, they love me too. That's what I really feel. It's just taken me a long time to be able to say it.
Why?
I had six brilliant years with Take That, but for the last year I could remember only the nasty ending. But now the good times are coming back to me and more than anything I'd love to have a chat with Gary. Once this whole storm has gone through town, me and him are going to have such a laugh.
Do you think that's possible after all that's been said?
I really hope so. Just thinking about Gary makes me laugh. I mean, when I first met him, he didn't burp, swear, fart or eat 'foreign muck'. All he'd eat was sausage, egg and chips. Even Chinese was classed as exotic - it was like an experimental jungle mix by Goldie for him. (laughs) Then, as the years went on, he was the one taking us into Sushi bars, ordering 'foreign muck!' And now he wears nice clothes - and I know he burps, farts and swears! I've heard him. This is great, talking like this, because I'm laughing, I'm enjoying the memories. I mean I'm not taking the piss here. These are genuinely fond memories. I remember the first time I ever met the lads at the Take That auditions. I came with my mum and I was saying through the corner of my mouth, 'Right mum - go now.' Marky was doing exactly the same thing at the other end of the street with his mum.
So what about....
As I walked into the audition there was this guy sat there with really untrendy Adidas bottoms on, massive Converse trainers, a stupid spiky haircut....and I'm not dissing him here - I mean it lovingly. He's got his legs crossed with his hands on his knee and this bloody leather briefcase which had song sheets for crap cabaret songs in it.....
That's nice. But....
Shhhh, let me finish. I looked at him and I was told, 'This is Gary Barlow. He's a professional club singer and he's going to make this group happen.' Then there was this guy called Jason, who was all ful of himself because he'd been on The Hitman And Her [crap late night TV show that Jason danced on] and I was completely impressed. The fact that Jason had been on telly and liked RS2000 cars made him God in my eyes. He was cocky and strutty and I just thought he was great. Then, as I was halfway through my audition, in walks this other bloke called Howard - who was late, as always. And he was really shy. So that was the scenario . Take That met for the first time and I remember just looking round and thinking, 'Oh shit, I wish I'd passed my exams! Hahahaha.
Yeah, that's really funny, but what about.......
Then Gary called me over and said, 'Right son - here's what you do.' He called me son! He made me laugh from that moment on. He had this brilliant northern humour and it's all really clever, quick one-liners. He's got loads of jokes - he is Gary 'Bernard Manning/Roy Chubby Brown' Barlow. Me and him used to have some laughs.
Can I ask a question please?
Yeah, sorry. I'm going on, aren't I?
A bit, yeah. So what about the future? Do you really think you can be friends again?
In a year's time, I think Gary will see why I've said the things I have and when we get together it will be brilliant. As for Mark and Howard, I'd love to see them. Especially Marky. I don't know if Jason will ever like me again. We crossed wires - there was always friction between us. We were just different people - I mean, he went celibate for 12 months! I couldn't be celibate for 12 minutes! But there is still a lot of love there for Jason too. I really hope that we can all be friends again, you know. I'm sick of fighting, I just want to see my mates again.
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